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开心国学院词一班第17讲作业【雪竹组】 |
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点评
流光白凤评:一叶数量词不对,负动词不妥。飞鸿指的是啥?指大雁,还是书信,双关的?看成一飘起的长叶也说的通,虽然鸣是鸿雁。此词有些朦胧,感到在文字上是下了功夫,加油。
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